Together, Abigail and Josie explore performance anxiety, perfectionism, identity, nervous system regulation and recovery. They talk about why high performers often struggle most when success becomes tied to who they are, why the brain sees pressure as threat, and how small, practical tools like breathing, grounding and better self-talk can make a huge difference in high-stakes moments.

This conversation is for anyone who wants to perform well under pressure — whether that is in sport, on stage, in leadership, in business, or simply in everyday life.

Key Takeaways

• High performance is not just about talent — it is about regulation

• Perfectionism can drive success, but without self-compassion it can become exhausting

• When pressure gets tied to identity, performance starts to feel threatening

• Focusing on controllable inputs is more effective than obsessing over outcomes

• The body and brain are always working together under stress

• Rest is not a luxury — it is part of performance

• Everyone earns and spends energy differently

• Purpose and values help you make better decisions under pressure

Practical Tips From Dr Josie Perry

• Shift your attention from outcomes to inputs that are within your control
• Use breathing to bring your respiratory rate down and signal safety to the brain
• Try “colourful breathing”: inhale one colour through the nose, exhale another through the mouth, with a longer exhale than inhale
• Use grounding techniques like the senses ladder: five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste
• Replace vague commands like “relax” with simple physical instructions like “drop your shoulders”
• Reframe pre-performance nerves as activation or excitement rather than danger
• Build more recovery and buffer into your day instead of spending every coin you have
• Keep a list of activities that help you earn coins back
• Develop more than one identity so performance is not the only place your self-worth lives
• Get clear on your values and purpose so pressure feels meaningful rather than overwhelming

About Dr Josie Perry

Dr Josie Perry is a chartered psychologist and founder of Performance in Mind, a performance psychology consultancy based in London and working worldwide. She works with people in sport, on stage and in business to help them understand themselves, identify their values, build new strategies and perform at their highest level.

Listen If You Want To

✓ Perform better under pressure

✓ Understand the psychology behind stress and anxiety

✓ Learn practical nervous system regulation tools

✓ Protect your energy and recover more effectively

✓ Build resilience without relying on constant pushing

✓ Develop a healthier relationship with ambition and achievement

Resources & Links

Host: Abigail Ireland on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/abigail.ireland/ and https://abigailireland.com/

Guest: Dr Josie Perry Performance in Mind - https://performanceinmind.co.uk/

Learn more about nervous system regulation:

Pulsetto Vagus Nerve Stimulation → https://uk.pulsetto.tech/

Follow the podcast for more conversations on stress, performance and recovery.

In this episode of No Stress, Abi sits down with Dr Nerina Ramlakhan, sleep physiologist, neurophysiologist and author of four books including Tired But Wired and Finding Inner Safety.

With nearly 30 years of experience, Dr Nerina explains why so many high performers struggle to switch off, why waking at 2 to 4am is often normal, and how nervous system dysregulation sits at the heart of poor sleep.

This conversation goes beyond sleep hygiene and gadgets. It explores safety, trauma, leadership energy, polyvagal science, and the deeper reason some people simply cannot rest.

Dr Nerina also shares her Five Non Negotiables that can dramatically improve sleep and energy in as little as 14 to 21 days.

Dr Nerina Ramlakhan is a physiologist, sleep expert and author with almost three decades of experience helping professionals, athletes, shift workers and leaders restore their energy and resilience.

She has worked with elite athletes, NHS teams, police services and corporate leaders, and is the author of four books including Tired But Wired and Finding Inner Safety.

Find Dr Nerina:

• Website: https://drnerina.com/
• Books: Tired But Wired, Finding Inner Safety

Key themes we explore

• What “tired but wired” really means
• Why waking between 2 and 4am can be completely normal
• The cortisol spike and the hunter gatherer brain
• Nervous system dysregulation and sympathetic overdrive
• Why safety is the foundation of good sleep
• How trauma can make rest feel unsafe
• The leadership nervous system and organisational culture
• Sleep timing versus sleep duration
• Orthosomnia and the anxiety created by wearable tech
• Why high achievers often run on fear based energy
• The difference between survival energy and sustainable energy
• Napping, ultradian rhythms and the 90 minute energy cycle

Actionable takeaways

The Five Non Negotiables for Better Sleep

Try these for the next 14 to 21 days:

Eat breakfast

Do not skip it. Include protein, fat and carbohydrates to signal safety and stability to the nervous system.

Do not use coffee as a substitute for food

Have caffeine after you have eaten, not on an empty stomach.

Hydrate properly

Support brain chemistry and sleep biology. Add electrolytes or a pinch of sea salt with lemon to water if needed.

Sleep before midnight

Aim to be in bed resting by around 9:30 to 10:00pm. Earlier sleep supports deeper restoration.

Remove technology from the bedroom

Do not check your phone during the night. Use a simple clock. Avoid screens as the last thing before sleep and the first thing on waking.



Additional practical insights

• Micro awakenings during the night are normal. Do not create a story around them.
• Avoid checking the time if you wake up. It increases alertness and rumination.
• Use short power naps of 10 to 20 minutes between 2 and 4pm if needed.
• Longer replacement naps of up to 40 minutes can support recovery when exhausted.
• Notice your 90 minute energy rhythm throughout the day and build in short breaks.
• Listen to the speed and tone of your thoughts first thing in the morning to assess whether you are running on anxiety.

In this episode of No Stress, host Abi sits down with Simon Jeffries (former UK Special Forces, performance coach, founder of The Natural Edge) to reframe stress as something you can train, not something you are stuck with.

Simon breaks stress resilience down into a practical, repeatable system: regulate the nervous system, upgrade mindset, and build supportive structure. You will hear why most people feel “always on,” how tiny daily shifts compound fast, and a simple in-the-moment drill you can use when life triggers you: Stop, breathe, “Good. Now what?”

Simon Jeffries is a performance coach and founder of The Natural Edge. Simon served as a Royal Marines Commando, later passing selection and serving the remainder of his career in Special Forces, completing three operational combat tours. He now coaches founders, CEOs, and senior leaders to build sustainable performance and stress resilience.

Find Simon:

• Website: The Natural Edge https://thenaturaledge.com/about-tne/

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.natural.edge/

Actionable takeaways (stress fitness, not stress management)

Try these this week:

• Lower your “alarm sensitivity”: choose one trigger moment per day to practice a reset (commute, inbox, family chaos).
• Add a screen boundary: 30 minutes screen-free after waking and 30 minutes before bed.
• Create a micro playbook (3 phrases):
• Assertive: “Get a grip.”
• Neutral/problem-solving: “What can I control here?”
• Reframe: “Good. Now what?”
• Structure one protected block (even 45 to 60 minutes) for focused work with notifications off.

If this episode helped you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who is high-performing on paper but feels wired, reactive, and unable to switch off. Stress fitness is trainable and the smallest reps are often the ones that change everything.

Is there a topic you want us to discuss in the next episode? Comment below 👇

💚 About Us

Pulsetto is a vagus nerve stimulation device designed to help you calm your nervous system, reduce stress, improve sleep, and support emotional regulation — scientifically, gently, and non-invasively.

Use it before, during, or after stressful periods to regulate your body and mind.

🔗 Useful Links

Pulsetto: https://pulsetto.org

Pulsetto Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pulsetto.tech/?hl=en

Abi’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abigail.ireland/